Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Promotional video for the book!

I have created a video promoting my new book, Heaven Help the Single Christian! Thank you to everyone who helped with it! Please forward the link to all your friends and help me pay the rent!\

Monday, January 3, 2011

Context for Choice

When Christians and unreligious people talk about Christianity, the topic that comes up most is freedom of choice. For me, as I wondered which church to join, and whether I should join at all, this was my central question – will I still have control over my own destiny? We have to think about freedom of choice, first, because it’s the defining characteristic of a human being. God gave us free will because He wants us to choose to be with Him – He does not compel our love, and is willing to allow us to reject Him. So often when something tragic happens, we ask “Why did God allow this to happen?” If God is all-powerful, and is all good, which He is, shouldn’t he be preventing us from having accidents, from getting attacked by criminals? The answer to this conundrum, hard as it is to accept, is that to stop all these bad things from happening, God would have to negate our free will, which would make us something that we are not – and He loves just as we are, and He wants us to love Him, as we are.

Secondly, we have to think about freedom of choice because it’s also the defining characteristic of an American – we love our freedom of choice both as regards religion (or non-religion as the case may be) and as regards our economic choices. Dutch sociologist Geert Herstede surveyed attitudes of people in countries across the world, finding Americans to be the most individualistic of all. (Great Britain and Australia were close behind as the rankings are available here.)

As Christians in America, we have to think about freedom of choice because it’s what most people have on their minds when they think about religion – whether they’re going to visit or avoid, respect or resist, love or withdraw. America is unique among industrial countries in that we both have a long tradition of religious freedom, and more people take advantage of the opportunity to choose a religion than other developed countries. In Western Europe and Japan, the favorite choice about religion is a non-choice – general disinterest. Here, however, 30 to 40 percent of the population still attends a weekly worship service. Researchers Robert Putnam and David Campbell in their recent book, American Grace, analyzed attitude surveys going back several decades and found that there has been quite a growth in Americans who claim “no religion” or “spiritual but not religious” in surveys since 1990, however, it would take a couple of centuries before the overall population became as secularized as Great Britain’s, where only 5-8 percent are regular service-goers. In our society of choosers, there is more interest in God, but people still care a great deal whether they are going to be controlled and judged, and how much freedom they will have to make choices.

As Christians, we sometimes get rather defensive about choice, looking at the church as a place to withdraw in our world of too many choices. Some of us like choose a church based on where we can be with other parents who are as strict with their children as we are, protecting them from immorality in television, teen magazines and the Internet. We expect the church to restrict our choices to protect us from a hostile outside world.

If, as I said, freedom of choice is what makes us human and what makes us American, it’s no surprise that unaffiliated people make an immediate U-turn when we talk about Christianity. They see it as a negation of choice, a place where they will not be allowed to be human or American. In similar manner to how we view the church as a fortress, they get very defensive about keeping the religious controllers out of their lives.
 
How many of us has had a conversation about our faith only to discover that we are having two conversations at once? We talk about Jesus Christ and the Incarnation and the Resurrection, and our friend is asking whether we dictate how members can vote in public elections, whether we let members watch the movies they want to see, and whether we send homosexual teenagers to special camps to “turn” them heterosexual. Every time I have this conversation, I end up saying “I don’t know” a whole lot because it’s so unrelated to what I usually think about.

Obviously there’s some disconnect between what we think people need to hear and what they care about when it comes to religion. We talk about how Jesus Christ saves us and improves our lives, and they defend their rights and try to keep all the nastiest elements of Christianity out of their lives, suspiciously wondering if all the nice stuff we say about Jesus is the sales pitch we use to trap them.

Choice then, is a specific topic that needs attention right at the beginning. We need to make clear that Christianity isn’t about dictating right choices to its followers; rather it provides the context for our many choices, and it tells us why the choices are important. Rarely do we get the right answer to a question in short form from Scripture or theology, but we do learn why we have to try as hard as we can to make the right choice.

The reason that our choices are important is simple – Jesus Christ has offered us the opportunity to dwell in heaven with Him. And, we hope, people also want to be in heaven with Him. Heaven was closed to us because of the separation between God and man caused by sin, and Jesus re-opened that path through Himself by becoming Man. By living as we lived, dying as we died, and being resurrected as we ought to be resurrected, He became one with us and gave us the opportunity to become one with Him, both by believing and following Him as a person, and by following His teachings.

Our choices, then, become the moment when we decide whether we want to take that opportunity. We aren’t Christians because Jesus provides the nicest moral and ethical code out of a group of equal world religions and philosophies, rather, Jesus provides our opportunity to be joined with God and live with Him for all eternity.

Christianity also provides us with a framework for our choices. The New Testament teaches us about eternal justice that will come in the age to come, which isn’t just an incentive for us to be good, but these teachings are there as a curb on our perverse human justice, which encourage us to requite injustice with misery, hurting those who hurt the weak.

The New Testament also teaches us that every person bears the image of God, which compels us to serve those who have nothing to do with us. We are commanded to love our enemies. We cannot curse at criminals. This is not because we’ve decided it’s rude, but because Jesus commands it. This choice is important because when we speak to them, we speak to God. When we decide how to treat those who hate us, it is the very same choice over whether we want to be joined to God in heaven.

It is true that becoming a Christian does mean giving up some choices, or at least some choices are strongly discouraged. If I told my wife to have an abortion, or if I divorced her, I would hear about this at church. I probably wouldn’t be allowed to go to Holy Communion for quite a while. Holy Communion is how we can be joined to God while we are here on Earth, and I would have to go through a lengthy process of repentance before I’d be able to get my full membership back at church. However, most of the choices we make in our lives aren’t so black and white as these – they aren’t such obvious moral issues, and Christianity provides us with the encouragement to take on these challenges and the framework to make good ones.

We also have disciplines within Christianity, which at first seem like restrictions upon our choices, which are there to help us get on the right path. The belief that we can be joined to God is not a change of opinion that we have in our minds all of a sudden, rather, it is a truth that has to be lived over a long period of time. We take on disciplines, such as prayer and fasting to humble our minds, souls and bodies so that we can accept these truths fully, and we take on these disciplines willingly. An interesting finding in another study by Sheena Iyengar cited in her book The Art of Choosing is that people in strict religions are actually happier than those in liberal ones. She interviewed 600 people from nine different religions, which she categorized as fundamentalist (Calvinism, Islam and Orthodox Judaism) conservative (Catholicism, Lutheranism, Methodism and Conservative Judaism) and liberal (Unitarianism and Reform Judaism). She had expected people whose choices were restricted to be unhappy because they couldn’t experience as much, but was surprised to find the opposite was true. “The presence of so many rules didn’t debilitate people; instead it seemed to empower them. Many of their choices were taken away, and yet they experienced a sense of control over their lives.” (Sheena Iyengar, The Art of Choosing, New York: Twelve, 2010, p. 28) Iyengar goes on to describe her parents’ arranged marriage. If the restriction is accepted willingly, she argues, provides meaningful structure in the person’s life.

The Church, then, is the place where choices can be made meaningful, and this is what we can offer to modern humanity, awash in choices and living in a world where communications is losing its sense of context. Since the advent of television, each new medium that’s become available has been more immediate, more interactive, and more fragmentary than the previous one. We can communicate with anyone we want, which is a good thing, but as friends forward us pieces of wisdom, humor and news, it becomes more and more difficult to figure out who is speaking and why. With books, we could watch the tone and style of the author and editor as we turned the page to figure out their purpose, but Facebook, Twitter and its cadre of services are making knowledge, place and voice into relative concepts, negating what we call “context.”

In the Church, we can provide that context, that structure back into people’s lives, both with contemplative services that allow the soul to open rather than to bombard it, where truth is provided rather than opinions, and where our freedom of choice is not just allowed, but fulfilled, where choices are made meaningful. Christianity is the fulfillment of freedom of choice, and this is the fuller experience that we most need to show that we can provide to those who don’t see the use for religion.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Four stories of broken romance

Here's a humor article I wrote for "19th Century Russia," an Orthodox Christian humor blog. It's managed by my friend Brigid Strait. The article is satirical, and it's four stories of broken romance.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

We interrupt this interruption...


As I sit in my parents' house, getting ready for my third winter as a professional resume submitter, I hear this voice:

"We interrupt this interruption to bring you the following important announcement: We have received a number of complaints from local observers in your area that an unusual number of lives seem to be on hold. We are aware of this problem.

"If this seems to be taking longer than it should, please note that recessions are caused by inactivity. What’s happened is that an unexpected amount of money and an unexpected number of people gathering at this point in spacetime have caused an unexpected amount of mass to coalesce, thus depressing the continuum. This may seem to slow things down, and the recovery, at least for an unenlightened observer such as yourself, stuck in the spacetime depression. While we apologize for the negative feedback loop you seem to be stuck in, please be reassured we will prevent you from crossing your own event horizon and creating a black hole. It is true that no one seems to think you have a right to a job, a place to live, or any of that other stuff they said you’d get if you studied hard in school, but please be assured that we are committed to the continued existence of your particles.

"If things seem a little blue when you try to look beyond your situation, that’s just because light is moving more slowly where you are. If you would like to take photographs, may we recommend a filter for your camera’s lens?

"Please feel free to move about the continuum. In fact, you might try moving and talking a little faster. From our perspective, you’ve got quite a drawl, which is pretty humorous.

"Please be assured that your life will eventually resume. Be glad for all that time you spent in post-Soviet republics. Your trajectory out of the spacetime depression will be curved, but the experience taught you to be thankful it isn’t parabolic.

"Thank you for your attention during the interruption. We now return you to your regularly scheduled interruption."

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Getting published, inescapable committees, and a grade-school joke

Dear Friends and Family,

There is this grade-school riddle that contains more wisdom than I would have thought when I first heard it: "Why was ten afraid? Because seven eight nine." I think it is an accurate description of our current economic situation. The recession started in 07, and developed into a panic in 08, devouring 09. And, despite the fact it's technically over, 10 is a terrified year, afraid to hire any of us.

Life for Miri and me continues to be full of educational and enlightening experiences, all of which offer inadequate pay and no benefits. But, staying sane is a matter of giving thanks for all things, for example, the time to write a book.

Getting a Book Published

After many months of trying to find a publisher, I have finally entered a contract with Regina Orthodox Press in Massachusetts, which will publish "Heaven Help The Single Christian: Your (Practical) Guide to Navigating Church as You Search for a Godly Mate" It's a humorous advice book that offers both laughs and a broader context of struggle for the single Christian. Much of it is based upon my own experiences of striking out at coffee hours, church conferences and monasteries before I met Miri, as well as the experiences of friends of mine. I've done as much as I can to remove identification from the characters involved, so all I can say if you recognize yourself in there is that you should have been nicer to me.

The book is due out by Christmas, which is light-speed in the publishing world. The director said he really needed something additional to go in the holiday catalog, and he accepted my book as a rush-job. The first printing run should be 1,000 or 2,000 copies, and the price will be $15-$17. At 10 percent royalties, it doesn't add up to much, especially when you consider that hardly anyone pays retail price. On the continuum of what I was getting paid as an author to what J.K. Rowling earns, it's, um, well, it's on the continuum, which is a blessing.

My task for 2011 is learning how to do a book talk, going to conferences and giving it, and selling copies of the book myself directly out of box from the publisher. Other authors have told me when you're starting out, that's how you make most of your money. If any of you knows of events and places with lots of single Christians, let me know, and I can try going and selling the book. And, it would be great if it were near your house so I can sleep there and eat your food. Publication date to come soon.

A challenge to your religion – committees

If I ever write that other book about religious conversion, I'm going to include a section on that point in your spiritual life when you feel an urge to wander because of all the committees you get appointed to. Once you're thought of as a regular, stable churchgoer, when there are events planned that need workers, it is impossible to avoid getting a staff infection.

In this case, the event is the All-American Council of the Orthodox Church in America, due to be held in Bellevue, Wash., in October 2011. Our previous parish council treasurer retired from her position so she could be the lay chairwoman of the event, and then I got elected treasurer to replace her. And now I am on a couple of additional committees for the council, one purposed with getting local media to cover the event, the other to create a city guide for the out-of-towners to check out the Seattle-Bellevue area.

We are renting a large hotel and are expecting 800 people to attend. This council is where all things administrative, financial, legal, spiritual and leadershipish get reported, discussed, voted on and hopefully settled. It happens once every three years and is kind of a big deal. The last one of these was akin to a very nasty marital therapy session, so we're really hoping that this one goes in a somewhat normal manner. It's the first time this event has been held on the West Coast, and we've even gotten Alaska Airlines to be our "official airline." 


One scary thing in sitting on these committees is that I'm the youngest one there. Not that being 31 in a room full of 50-year-olds is scary, but this means that if I continue this habit of sitting on committees, I'll someday have more experience than most people and be more likely to get appointed. This makes me wonder if some of the early Christian martyrs decided to defy the Roman authorities as a means of getting out of chairing committees at church.

Independent Journalism for Important Stories

I'm also continuing my work these days as a news reporter. You may remember my story about the King County 10-year Plan to End Homelessness. Now I've got a story about a problem that's both disturbing, and very interesting because the campaign to help those affected by it is very new, and not fully developed.

The problem is commercial sexual exploitation of children, a long clinical term that basically means forced prostitution of underage girls. The further I delve into the topic, the more upset I get, and the more I'm convinced of the need for a story to get done.

I've been interviewing human-services people, police officers, and I'm going to interview someone who'd been formerly exploited.

The interesting parts of this story are the complexities of laws that both help and prosecute minors involved in prostitution, the comprehensive and expensive services to help them recover, and the fact that this is a demand-driven economy. The disturbing parts are the obscenely abusive things the pimps do to control their girls, the fact that the girls don't tend to live very long after getting in to "The Life," and finally the fact that every girl saved simply acts as an absence in the market, inspiring pimps and customers to try harder to get what they want.

This is a story that's getting funded through spot.us, a web site that puts journalists' story ideas up where people can pledge money for them. The story is about two-thirds funded right now. Another interesting feature is that people can take a survey for a group looking for research information and by doing so, earn $6 to $10 for the story. It gives us a boost whether you pledge or not.

Other notes

That's the news from Ruthfordville right now. Outside of that, life generally goes on – Miri continues her half-time job at the Point Defiance Zoo as a zookeeper and climbing toy for endangered leopards. Right now, we are winding up a mini-vacation to Helena, Mont., where my cousin, Robin, got married to a fellow named Grant. She planned some really cool things into her wedding, including a pre-wedding hike to the top of Mt. Helena. I also got to visit the Montana State Museum here, which had an amazing gallery of paintings by Charlie Russell, a painter who was hired by the Great Northern Railroad around the beginning of the 20th century to paint scenes that would make people want to take vacations in Montana. Such a wonderful concept – paying an artist to increase your business, and making money for all involved, and getting enduring masterpieces out of it in the end. Sigh, now we raise money through sites such as spot.

There will be a load of lovely pictures both from the wedding and the hikes, but I'm still too much of a luddite to buy a digital camera, so it'll be a while before I get any of those up there for viewing.

Please keep in touch. I'd love to hear from you!

Love,

Thomas Eric Ruthford

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I need a new title

I have a publisher interested in my book, which makes me very happy! But, he says he doesn't like my title, "Coffee Hour Courting: Dating for the Devoted." I'm not actually that crazy about that title myself, but it was the best I could think of...

So I need a new title and have been banging my head against the pad of paper for a couple of days now. This title needs to be short, clever, and then it needs a subtitle that is a complete summary of what the book is about.

I can think of lots of "serious" titles that might make sense, like "Bringing your date home to Jesus" or " Meeting a Godly Mate" or some such variation. "Searching and churching" is just cheesy...

HELP!

Monday, June 28, 2010

I got published! And some other stuff, too...

I have had one of those rare events in a writer's life recently, Getting Published And Getting Paid For It. Here is a link to my story that I wrote for the Seattle PostGlobe about King County's 10-year-Plan to End Homelessness. It's an ambitious plan that I hope succeeds, and the government and community leaders involved in the work have done a lot to coordinate their efforts, although the homeless population in Seattle and King County remains stubbornly high. I really enjoyed researching the story, and I got to apply a lot of what I learned from back when I was the chief financial officer of Raphael House of San Francisco, a homeless shelter for families.

This story was the first crowd-funded story in Seattle, meaning that it got funded through a Web site called Spot.us, which has a new way of funding independent journalism. News reporters put story ideas up on the site, and then donors pledge money to it. It's similar to how public radio gets funded, but one story at a time. In about a week, enough donations came in so that it became a paid job for me, and believe me, is that ever special. Thank you!

Miri (dearie wife) and I have had some other fun things that we've done over the past few months. One was Pascha at church, when Miri sang with the choir, and I got to take pictures with my trusty Pentax ME Super that is as old as I am. Several people at church said, "Your camera went click!" I like going to the special camera store and buying 1600 speed film. I'm still having a hard time adjusting to being an antique owner at the age of 30. Pascha (also called Easter) is a midnight service for Orthodox Christians (we don't waste time) and part of the service involves circling the church three times. I took this picture of Fr. Athanasius Shaw carrying a candle.


The Gospel passage we read on Pascha night is the Prologue of John. I like this picture because it has the priest carrying the light into the world, which is reflective of John 1:5, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

Miri has had some interesting adventures in the world of zoos and aquariums recently. She began an internship at the Seattle Aquarium in January and got to take care of animals and observe the dominance patterns between a big old seal, Al and a smaller teenage-like seal, Commander who was challenging him for a while -- until the old man shouted him down and equilibrium was restored. They know that this happened because Miri sat and watched them for several weeks, counting up the number of times which one shouted at the other. The Aquarium internship turned into an Aquarium job, and now she is a part-time educator there. But, since it is summer, there are not any school field trips coming through, and she doesn't have work. But, in September, she will.

She is also continuing her part-time job at the Point Defiance Zoo, which has been full of excitement and camera crews recently. First, the zoo received a family of clouded leopards from Thailand. This is a rare species, and they are tree-climbers. Miri has gotten to play with the cubs several times, and she has gotten climbed on and drooled on several times. Here's a picture:




And if that weren't enough, the zoo also now has two Sumatran tiger cubs. They are younger and do not have teeth yet, and Miri has gotten to play with them a few times, too. It's believed that only 500 of them exist in the world, about 350 of which are in the wild. These tigers got on to the Today Show about a week ago.



The bandage is for tendonitis. This little girl cub does not have teeth yet. You can help name them. There's an on-line vote open now!

 I don't know how many kids say, "I want to be a toy for endangered species to play with when I grow up," but Miri seems to have accomplished this.

I am still submitting lots of resumes, and getting the occasional job interview, so there's hope yet.  Right now I am working on a marketing study for the Pacific Lutheran University bookstore and its quest for profitability.  It's a nice change, but I'm still waiting for that Real Job With Benefits. I've also had one job interview recently, but I know from experience not to get my hopes up too high. This time of economic challenge has been instructive to us, however. I really think this is God's way of showing people who don't drink what alcoholism will do to their finances.

One recent accomplishment I made was completing a certificate in Geographic Information Systems. Our group project was to make a map of the avalanche paths surrounding Alpental Ski Area at Snoqualmie Pass here in Washington state. It was a fun project, although it made me realize that GIS work is more computer work than it is map work, and it was the map end of things that appealed to me. I am, however, hopeful that I can work mapping into a job soon.




Coming up soon, Miri and I are going to Vancouver, BC, for a two-day trip to see the science museums, aquariums and and such up there. We got a coupon with Greyhound and decided this would be an ideal trip for us. Additionally, we are going on a six-day bike trip across Eastern Washington. The trip is called the Ride Around Washington, and is put on by the Cascade Bicycle Club. Also, Patrick, my Dad, and Jeffrey are going on this trip. One cool thing is that I took my green custom mountain bike to the shop and got it modified so that it will ride more like a road bike, and ride faster. (This bike is 12 years old and went to Ukraine and back with me and helped me lose 90 pounds. That, and the borcsht.) Here's a picture from last year's trip:






This picture is one of the numerous scenic lakes you'll find going up Washington Pass, which we did on Day 2 of RAW last year. Thankfully, there won't be any mountain passes that challenging

Finally, we are looking forward to going hiking now that the mountain snow is melting. I recently bought a book about best hikes with dogs, and I want to try going to Dewey Lake, near Chinook Pass, with Jisa the brave scout dog.


View Larger Map

So, that's the news from Ruthfordville. I hope that you are well, too. Feel free to write me, or leave a comment on the blog -- I will get it even though I don't update the blog too often.

Your friend,
Thomas Eric Ruthford