Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Job hunting and such

Hi all,

These days Miri and I are diligently looking for jobs that we can get in the same city. We know that this city won't be Spokane because the management of the zoo there is good at taking care of cats, but they're not so good at taking care of their humans. (And, there are a couple of 500-pound cats who seem to think I am a giraffe. I get the heebie-jeebies sometimes.)

Miri's internship at the zoo is winding down. She graduates in September, so, we're looking at jobs all over the country in places such as Las Vegas, Boston, Baltimore, West Yellowstone, Mont., and Garden City, Kan. Yes, there really is a zoo in Garden City. I don't know if Las Vegas has a zoo, but they do have Seigfried and Roy (and the tiger that tried to eat Roy Horn is still happily living there but we won't go in to that). Cool thing about working for Seigfried and Roy is if you're employed by them, you're employed by the Mirage, a big resort that actually pays benefits and stuff.

I am working in my job at the non-profit that is too quirky to be described. I am also teaching classes at our summer journalism institute for teenagers, giving talks on ethics and writing. Yesterday, we talked about adjectives, and how you have to be careful with your judgmental adjectives, such as "horrifying" or "every mother's worst nightmare." I made them listen to Alice's Restaurant and asked them why there was so much useless detail in the song, such as "implements of destruction" and "twenty-seven eight by ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back..." (Because there's so much useless detail in the draft.)

I am getting ready to do the Ride Around Washington at the beginning of August. This will be a fun spin around the volcanoes of southwest Washington. These rides are always 6 days long and take up around 80 miles. I have composed a limerick about the people who do the daily ride announcements:

Never make a promise that's impossible to fulfill
The war will be short, you can cure anything with this pill
The harm from the worst promise of all never mends
Rather, you'll lose 200 friends
It is to say, "Today's route is mostly downhill."

Usually when I make updates about what's going on in my life, I have some quirky, humorous story to tell like 6-year-old children lecturing me on the importance of paying attention. But alas, I don't this time. (Life is a little dull.) I have, however, been reading an assortment of library books that I can tell you about:

  • Surprised by Hope, by N.T. Wright. I found out about this book by watching an episode of the Colbert Report that also featured Cookie Monster. Bishop Wright, an Anglican Bishop, was there, too. This book takes a look at popular religion seen through funeral sermons and tries to connect that way of thinking back to the real teachings about the Resurrection. I've only gotten to chapter 3, but I am enjoying it so far.
  • Bottomfeeder, by Taras Grescoe. This book tries to take on the whole ocean at once as an ecosystem which can provide us with excellent protein. He talks about oysters in Chesapeake Bay, the monkfish, the bluefin tuna and salmon. His argument is that we should try eating from the middle of the ocean's food chain, with fish like sardines and anchovies, because they're not endangered. The section on shrimp farms was really gross.
Okay, that's only two books, but the other ones I've been reading are mostly cookbooks, or I just tossed them aside after the first chapter. But, there was this one article called "No," in the Kenyon Review about writers receiving rejection letters. Here's a link to it. It made me laugh, especially as I keep getting rejected, too. My wife tells me I ought to be a famous writer like J.K. Rowling, that way we can live someplace like West Yellowstone and I won't have to find a job driving a tour bus. But, I don't get discouraged -- persistence does pay off, as lots of asking did get Miri to marry me. Oh yeah, if you want to read some humor articles about Christians getting married, you can go to this blog, Orthromance, that I started.
Anyway, that's the news from Spokane. I'd love to hear from you!

Thomas / Eric / Thomic

p.s. A hysterical political video came out today on jibjab.com It's done to the tune of "The times they are a changing" The Obama section had me on the floor.

Monday, June 30, 2008

A new Onion Dome Article!


Hi Readers,

Okay, time to brag again. I got into the Onion Dome again! Whoo hoo! Fame and fortune here I come! My article is about an Old Calendar parish resolving to observe the Fourth of July on the Old Calendar so that they can actually have meat. Click here to read it.

And, I have a new article here, about Christian romance, too, if it's not clear from the Table of Contents. It's called Early Babies and Other Hazards of Passion.

In Christ,
Thomas

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Best Rejection Letter Ever

I hope I can get a rejection letter of this quality some day...

We have read your manuscript with boundless delight, and if we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for us to publish any work of a lower standard. And, as it is unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your divine composition and beg you a thousand times to overlook our short sight and timidity.
--A Chinese publication rejecting a writer, as quoted in the Kenyon Review

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I just saw "Horton Hears a Who..."

And the Mayor of Whoville reminds me of the Prophet Isaiah.

Monday, May 19, 2008

So here's what's up...

Hi All,

We've put up some new photographs that you can look at. Miri has posted some pictures of the tiger cubs at Cat Tales:

http://www.pbase.com/allears/cat_tales

And I've put some pictures of Miri up here:

http://www.pbase.com/allears/pictures_of_cute_wife

We don't have a whole lot of news to report. The weather is very nice here in Spokane. Now that we have a warming trend after our absurdly heavy winter, we now have flood watches in effect everywhere. Our dog still likes chasing after her ball.

Miri has about four months left in her program, and we are likely to move this fall, although we still don't know where. If you hear of a new zoo opening up, please let us know.

Also, I've been entertaining myself and about four readers by writing a blog about the struggles of the single Orthodox Christian called Orthromance. Here's the link:

http://orthromance.blogspot.com

Some of the humor will be a bit on the obscure side, but I hope you'll find some of the jokes funny. Our newest feature is a little box where you can enter your e-mail address if you want to get the new posts as they come out.

And then, as always, here's my personal blog, where I just post random things that happen:

http://thomasericruthford.blogspot.com

We hope you're well!

Love,
Eric

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I make the big time!


Hello dear readers,

I got published in the Onion Dome! I'm famous now! Whoo hoo!

Here are the links to the two articles:

New Confession Guide Bans Retelling of Liturgical Gaffes

Top Nine Rejected Onion Dome Headlines

Now, a warning about the first article and the comments that follow on The Onion Dome: It will get inappropriate jokes stuck in your head forever. The subject of the article is those eternal jokes.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and thanks for all of your kind comments. I am going to post some more Orthromance blog postings soon. I have an idea of what I want to say about "Match-Making and Other Bad Advice," my challenge is to make it actually funny. I also have written what I want to say about "Early Babies and Other Hazards of Passion" but I think I'll hang on to that until the end, since the blog has been, up until this point, mostly about the trials of loneliness, and that's about the next stage in your life, after you've found someone you're really enthusiastic about.

When I do think of something to write, I'll put it up.

In Christ,
Thomas Eric Ruthford

Monday, April 7, 2008

Benefits of anti-gravity

I hope that anti-gravity is discovered during my lifetime because I would like to bake a spherical loaf of bread. It'll stay fresher much longer.