Kooky business idea No. 8

I was pondering a business idea today; tell me what you think. I have lots of time to think about this sort of stuff, being unemployed...

Guilt lockers

Do you have a hard time giving away old stuff even though you haven't touched it in 10 years? Do you feel guilty getting rid of it because you might need it, or because some friend of yours could put it to good use? Do you wish it would just go away on its own, but the act of figuring out what to do with it just too much?

Guilt Lockers, Inc., has got a solution for you: Rent one of our lockers, and put all of the stuff that you're on the fence about keeping or tossing. If you get separation anxiety on some object, come back and get it. Pay rent on the locker until you've forgotten about it, and then we'll take it and find socially and ecologically friendly ways of disposing of it. We keep an elaborate database of secondhand purchasers, charities and recyclers that deal with clothes, furniture, electronics and cute little stuffed animals. If we succeed in selling any of your stuff, you can have 30 percent of the profits.

Clear out your living space free of guilt, sentiment, and decision-making. Help those in need, but in a totally passive manner.

Guilt Lockers -- get rid of it now, because it won't fit in your coffin.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know... don't quit your day job (if only I had one). But, you have to admit that it's better than my idea of refurbishing old boats for when antigravity gets invented.